I've been waiting for this - the big Aha! moment. I looked high and low, under rocks and deadlines, behind trees, in closets, I waited, I forgot about it, then I remembered and continued the search. I paused, listening...
Then it came - the aha! This while sitting in my leather chair. I seem to get revelations here. When I went through my divorce, I hit a new kind of low - the kind when you have to remind yourself to breathe. The kind where you rely on a morning multi-vitamin to get nutrients. The kind where your sister makes you promise to have said vitamin and a piece of fruit every day. (I did!) The kind where you allow yourself to eat whatever you want because you have no appetite. (Combos and Diet Dew dinners? Hell, yeah!) The kind where people ask you if you're eating and you say yes, but don't understand why they're asking because by now you are starting to eat more/better ensuring you're getting each food group every day. The kind where you're still losing weight, but don't realize it. The kind where you can barely get off the couch. The kind that you never want to experience again. The kind that inspires you to realize your dreams because you never want to return to pre-divorce numbness and inauthenticity.
I've been growing and learning and will continue to do both. So there are no more excuses - it's time to live the life I've been practicing to live. And I'm scared as shit.
And, and, a tad exhilarated.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Another week
Rest does the body good, yes?
Okay, it wasn't my intention to rest so much this week. However, sometimes life just dictates such. Or, more precisely, the body has says no, but the mind says yes. This week, the body won.
At the beginning of the week, I awoke with a crick in my neck. Who knows what happened? Slept in a weird way? It became worse two nights later, awakening me until I finally got out of bed (gingerly) and looked online for a remedy. Yes, this is 4am.
Every morning took hours to get to a point that I could function fairly well, when things loosened to some degree. When I needed to look at something to the side of me, by body followed the direction of my head. It's like I had whiplash. Coughing and sneezing hurt. So did walking. Running? Wasn't even gonna try.
Tuesday night, I had to do something active so I went to yoga after my stitch-n-bitch. Glad I did. I think the next morning was slightly better with the neck. Slightly.
Fast forward to Friday. By this point I was tired. Hadn't been sleeping well. After work, I went to the gym to warm up in the steam room (had spent several hours outside in the windy cold for a work event), cool off in the jacuzzi, and dry off in the sauna.
Think it helped my neck? Ha.
Went to 12:30 yoga on Saturday. Had to try. Everything hurt, including down dog. Even child's pose. By the end of the 90 minutes, my neck was vaguely starting to loosen. More steam room, jacuzzi, sauna.
This morning I went for a run since I wasn't in excruciating neck pain. It was so nice to be out. I wore my Shuffle, but didn't power it on. I ran watchless. I didn't map out a route. There wasn't too much traffic, so I didn't have to worry about whipping my neck around to keep on eye on cars. The pull in my groin area seems to have just about healed. All of the unintentional rest was worth it for a 3.5m pain-free run.
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=4121464
Okay, it wasn't my intention to rest so much this week. However, sometimes life just dictates such. Or, more precisely, the body has says no, but the mind says yes. This week, the body won.
At the beginning of the week, I awoke with a crick in my neck. Who knows what happened? Slept in a weird way? It became worse two nights later, awakening me until I finally got out of bed (gingerly) and looked online for a remedy. Yes, this is 4am.
Every morning took hours to get to a point that I could function fairly well, when things loosened to some degree. When I needed to look at something to the side of me, by body followed the direction of my head. It's like I had whiplash. Coughing and sneezing hurt. So did walking. Running? Wasn't even gonna try.
Tuesday night, I had to do something active so I went to yoga after my stitch-n-bitch. Glad I did. I think the next morning was slightly better with the neck. Slightly.
Fast forward to Friday. By this point I was tired. Hadn't been sleeping well. After work, I went to the gym to warm up in the steam room (had spent several hours outside in the windy cold for a work event), cool off in the jacuzzi, and dry off in the sauna.
Think it helped my neck? Ha.
Went to 12:30 yoga on Saturday. Had to try. Everything hurt, including down dog. Even child's pose. By the end of the 90 minutes, my neck was vaguely starting to loosen. More steam room, jacuzzi, sauna.
This morning I went for a run since I wasn't in excruciating neck pain. It was so nice to be out. I wore my Shuffle, but didn't power it on. I ran watchless. I didn't map out a route. There wasn't too much traffic, so I didn't have to worry about whipping my neck around to keep on eye on cars. The pull in my groin area seems to have just about healed. All of the unintentional rest was worth it for a 3.5m pain-free run.
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=4121464
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Time to get moving again
After resting Tuesday, Wednesday morning I went to Core then Rebounding class, both subbed by Ruth S. who gave good, specific instruction. Worth getting out of bed. And, yes, hello Mr. Foam Roller afterward.
Friday morning I did Zumba and Core with Tavia. As a bonus, I learned three exercises for the small, underused muscle beneath the shoulder blade.
Saturday morning - spin! Did two of the three shoulder exercises. Saturday afternoon - short, easy run (1.5) in 14:20. Windy, but sunny. And I actually enjoyed the smell of dried, fallen leaves. Nice fall afternoon particularly for someone who dislikes the season.
Friday morning I did Zumba and Core with Tavia. As a bonus, I learned three exercises for the small, underused muscle beneath the shoulder blade.
Saturday morning - spin! Did two of the three shoulder exercises. Saturday afternoon - short, easy run (1.5) in 14:20. Windy, but sunny. And I actually enjoyed the smell of dried, fallen leaves. Nice fall afternoon particularly for someone who dislikes the season.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tufts Health Plan 10K for Women
Yeah, and why were MEN running with bib numbers??
Well, this is it. Set things out last night, had a leisurely morning getting ready, left feeling like I forgot something. Couldn't imagine what, and it didn't matter because I had essentials (number, sneakers). I ran into a neighbor who was running it also so we chatted. She'd run it before and gave me tips (mostly relax and have fun!), then offered to run it together, but her pace was slower and I had to go to my office first.
Office = home base. Lucky me! Tons of time. Changed there. And (OMG) brushed my teeth which I'd forgotten to do! At least I figured out what I'd forgotten, but sorry, Katie, if you noticed while we talked. Last pee and I'm off.
Dropped some stuff in baggage claim. Why? Don't ask. It seemed like a good idea to have my office key there rather than in my pocket for some reason. Plus, I wanted a final lip balm application. (Hello, my name is Jen. I'm addicted to lip balm.)
Walked around. Stretched. Walked around. Kept eye out for Cristin & co. at the monument, but yeah no, not a chance of meeting up. 8,200 runners, plus fans.
I've been hydrating for the last couple of days through 9am this morning, and now, now I gotta go. (Mom, are we there yet??) No probs - there are like 10 bajillion porta potties. And craaaaap, like 999 gazillion catrillion people in line for them. Plan B = home base. I can totally make it there and back for gun time. Totally. And I did. Man, I love my office location. (Shout out to Donna aka Building Security who helped with my pace bracelet.)
Alright, this really was a good Plan B. The only thing is that IT'S NOW TOO PACKED TO GET TO MY SEED! I at least made it through stroller land and walkers. Anyway, I'd rather deal with slow runners than have to pee the entire time.
And we're off. Took a while for me to cross the start mats. The thing about racing is that it's not MY pace. There's so much to worry about: bumping into people, people bumping me. I really just wanted to get into my groove. If anyone has any race tips regarding this, please leave a comment.
As I was running, I approached a woman with a stroller. A stroller? I wanted to say: Um, yo, beeatch - how'd you get up here? You need to be back there with your people. And the fact that you cheated and put yourself into a different seed is a tad annoying. I'm not the only one who noticed. Whatev - just move the heck over!" Fine, I jumped the curb and scooted around. Turns out there was a lot of curb jumping and weaving back and forth just to get ahead. I settled into it - the weaving and jumping, accepting this as the norm. (But is that the norm? Please comment.) As such, approaching water stations was a whole other hazard. At one (I hadn't seen it coming) I barreled past, bumping whomever dared get in front of me. I know, probably wasn't the best etiquette, but in my defense I had women to the right of me suddenly throwing their arm in front of me to reach for a water. They may have bruises now and wished they'd been to the left of me like the other women who positioned themselves correctly to take water.
Finally, Comm Ave. I'd remembered it seemed endless when I practiced the route a while ago, but today the cheering fans helped. And, I was distracted by my weaving, so that helped to. But honestly? At this point, I really just needed to finish and not waste energy weaving. I was starting to hurt.
The last stretch on Charles was killer. I wanted to run under an hour. I knew I was close, and didn't dare check my watch again for the last two minutes. The intent was to focus everything on running, not clock watching. I really, really needed fans here. For some reason, the finish line was relatively quiet.
Finish line.
1:00:16
9:41 pace
A bit nauseous.
And then we had to walk uphill. At that point, slight inclines were not my friend.
Water, couple of bagel bites and same for a banana. A sip of some gross red drink. The only good idea was the water.
I have a massage scheduled on Wednesday, but to hold me til then, I stretched a lot, then went to my gym. More stretching, and my fav friend Mr. Foam Roller. Jacuzzi and sauna, naturally. :)
Well, this is it. Set things out last night, had a leisurely morning getting ready, left feeling like I forgot something. Couldn't imagine what, and it didn't matter because I had essentials (number, sneakers). I ran into a neighbor who was running it also so we chatted. She'd run it before and gave me tips (mostly relax and have fun!), then offered to run it together, but her pace was slower and I had to go to my office first.
Office = home base. Lucky me! Tons of time. Changed there. And (OMG) brushed my teeth which I'd forgotten to do! At least I figured out what I'd forgotten, but sorry, Katie, if you noticed while we talked. Last pee and I'm off.
Dropped some stuff in baggage claim. Why? Don't ask. It seemed like a good idea to have my office key there rather than in my pocket for some reason. Plus, I wanted a final lip balm application. (Hello, my name is Jen. I'm addicted to lip balm.)
Walked around. Stretched. Walked around. Kept eye out for Cristin & co. at the monument, but yeah no, not a chance of meeting up. 8,200 runners, plus fans.
I've been hydrating for the last couple of days through 9am this morning, and now, now I gotta go. (Mom, are we there yet??) No probs - there are like 10 bajillion porta potties. And craaaaap, like 999 gazillion catrillion people in line for them. Plan B = home base. I can totally make it there and back for gun time. Totally. And I did. Man, I love my office location. (Shout out to Donna aka Building Security who helped with my pace bracelet.)
Alright, this really was a good Plan B. The only thing is that IT'S NOW TOO PACKED TO GET TO MY SEED! I at least made it through stroller land and walkers. Anyway, I'd rather deal with slow runners than have to pee the entire time.
And we're off. Took a while for me to cross the start mats. The thing about racing is that it's not MY pace. There's so much to worry about: bumping into people, people bumping me. I really just wanted to get into my groove. If anyone has any race tips regarding this, please leave a comment.
As I was running, I approached a woman with a stroller. A stroller? I wanted to say: Um, yo, beeatch - how'd you get up here? You need to be back there with your people. And the fact that you cheated and put yourself into a different seed is a tad annoying. I'm not the only one who noticed. Whatev - just move the heck over!" Fine, I jumped the curb and scooted around. Turns out there was a lot of curb jumping and weaving back and forth just to get ahead. I settled into it - the weaving and jumping, accepting this as the norm. (But is that the norm? Please comment.) As such, approaching water stations was a whole other hazard. At one (I hadn't seen it coming) I barreled past, bumping whomever dared get in front of me. I know, probably wasn't the best etiquette, but in my defense I had women to the right of me suddenly throwing their arm in front of me to reach for a water. They may have bruises now and wished they'd been to the left of me like the other women who positioned themselves correctly to take water.
Finally, Comm Ave. I'd remembered it seemed endless when I practiced the route a while ago, but today the cheering fans helped. And, I was distracted by my weaving, so that helped to. But honestly? At this point, I really just needed to finish and not waste energy weaving. I was starting to hurt.
The last stretch on Charles was killer. I wanted to run under an hour. I knew I was close, and didn't dare check my watch again for the last two minutes. The intent was to focus everything on running, not clock watching. I really, really needed fans here. For some reason, the finish line was relatively quiet.
Finish line.
1:00:16
9:41 pace
A bit nauseous.
And then we had to walk uphill. At that point, slight inclines were not my friend.
Water, couple of bagel bites and same for a banana. A sip of some gross red drink. The only good idea was the water.
I have a massage scheduled on Wednesday, but to hold me til then, I stretched a lot, then went to my gym. More stretching, and my fav friend Mr. Foam Roller. Jacuzzi and sauna, naturally. :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Last hurrah
Okay, folks, this is it - the final pre-race workout: 6pm spin with Kathryn Z.
She offered heart monitors for use during the class and you know I accepted. Kathryn walked around the room checking monitors which was awesome. She told me various target rates based on my age (25). I moved through various zones, ultimately having a great workout. We had a proper cool down and tons of stretching (I did more later, too). Then we dropped and did push ups for 30 seconds. Isn't nice to be the final class of the night and get extra time with the instructor??
As mentioned, more stretching plus I got busy with my friend, Mr. Foam Roller. Hey, a gal's gotta get a little action on a Friday night, no?
Shower time. Jacuzzi. Sauna. Oh, yeah.
She offered heart monitors for use during the class and you know I accepted. Kathryn walked around the room checking monitors which was awesome. She told me various target rates based on my age (25). I moved through various zones, ultimately having a great workout. We had a proper cool down and tons of stretching (I did more later, too). Then we dropped and did push ups for 30 seconds. Isn't nice to be the final class of the night and get extra time with the instructor??
As mentioned, more stretching plus I got busy with my friend, Mr. Foam Roller. Hey, a gal's gotta get a little action on a Friday night, no?
Shower time. Jacuzzi. Sauna. Oh, yeah.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
We all need a confidence boost
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=4089846
4.23m
38:54min
9.11pace
(@2.65m = 24:45 = 9:20pace)
Well, damn, nice pace!
I found the key: lots of pre-run stretching. Screw what I've heard; I need stretching before I run. Before I even head outside, in fact. I got completely dressed, headphones on, then stretched inside where it's warm. Outside: walked/stretched/adjusted my laces and stretched some more. Off I went. Okay, truthfully it took about a minute for everything to get going once I started running, but no pain. Yee-hah!
I think the multiple rest days also helped. Considering stairs were an issue even yesterday, running today pain-free was such a joy.
Also, wondering if eating a ton of cereal last night made a difference?
Seeing "my guy" on the run was and always is a pleasure. I don't know who he is, but he always makes me smile. He pulled up the sleeve of his marathon jacket, looked at his watch, then me and said lookin' good!
My goal today was to listen to my body, go easy on the pace (but push at the very end), and just log some cardio. Accomplished.
Def needed this confidence-boosting run. Now I just need to do this on Monday, but tack on two miles. ;)
4.23m
38:54min
9.11pace
(@2.65m = 24:45 = 9:20pace)
Well, damn, nice pace!
I found the key: lots of pre-run stretching. Screw what I've heard; I need stretching before I run. Before I even head outside, in fact. I got completely dressed, headphones on, then stretched inside where it's warm. Outside: walked/stretched/adjusted my laces and stretched some more. Off I went. Okay, truthfully it took about a minute for everything to get going once I started running, but no pain. Yee-hah!
I think the multiple rest days also helped. Considering stairs were an issue even yesterday, running today pain-free was such a joy.
Also, wondering if eating a ton of cereal last night made a difference?
Seeing "my guy" on the run was and always is a pleasure. I don't know who he is, but he always makes me smile. He pulled up the sleeve of his marathon jacket, looked at his watch, then me and said lookin' good!
My goal today was to listen to my body, go easy on the pace (but push at the very end), and just log some cardio. Accomplished.
Def needed this confidence-boosting run. Now I just need to do this on Monday, but tack on two miles. ;)
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