Total Body Cleanse - Day 1

This morning I took two capsules which taste good, waited 30 minutes, then mixed a scoop a Acacia Fiber into eight ounces of water. The mix is nearly flavorless, but what I did taste was pleasant - bland and healthy. Then drank another eight ounces.

Ate and drank normally throughout the day.

So far, no changes in how I feel or what's happening internally.

Just took two capsules of the evening portion and they taste bitter. Mixing more Acacia Fiber with 8oz water, followed by additional 8oz. Glad it's only 7:51 so I'm not waking up at 2 a.m. to pee!

Total Body Cleanse - Pre-start

Something came into my inbox the other day from Cambridge Naturals that got me thinking. Thinking about colon cleanses. Do I need one? Do I? After reading myriad articles and experiences online, I decided to get to CN to scope out the options.

Lucky me! CN staff is knowledgeable on cleanses and can help me build my own, or recommend a pre-packaged one. As a novice cleanser, PP is touted as the way to go.

We (a coupla staffers and I) got down to the nitty gritty and exchanged lots of non-cocktail party conversation. I left with a boxed seven-day, rapid-cleanse program in my handbag.

I was about to toss the receipt when I got home, but stopped. Did I really want to do this? Will I be tied to the toilet for seven days? Will I hurt? Vomit? Fever? Is this safe? Should I have chosen the 14-day gentler, organic cleanse? Should I call my doc first?

A little voice inside me said: Jen, you're doing this. Alright, alright, but when? Shouldn't I wait until the day after I go skydiving? Thoughts of being in a plane wearing the gear or strapped to some dude as I jump came to mind - what if I had to, you know, go? I mean, we are talking about the Rapid Cleanse, after all, and atmospheric pressure could do weird things to a gal's colon.

Again, the voice: You're starting tomorrow morning as soon as you return from the gym. Fine. This would give me several days pre-jump to see how my body responds. I read through the instructions and mentally prepared for whatever may happen.

Delights

Watermelon chunks and freshly-torn, organic basil.

Roasted organic cauliflower, snipped organic dill, nutritional yeast, and EVOO.

Mango juice.

First mosquito of the season found my dinner. Which is better than sampling my blood.

My parsnip is better'n yer mama's.

How to Make Vegan Banana Muffins (with pictures) - wikiHow

How to Make Vegan Banana Muffins (with pictures) - wikiHow

Do I need a vacation?

I double booked myself for Monday.

I nearly did the same for this coming Sunday.

That's the downside of having a busy social calendar. It's really a lot for a former meek girl to manage. I'm learning.

As I walked to the librarian to pay my fine for the overdue book, I halted, mid-stride upon my realization that my book is sitting in my office which is no where near the library. No problem - I'll just pick up the books being held for me. Turns out that one is "missing" and the other is mis-shelved. I'll be notified when they surface. Perfect.

Not one, but two time sheets were sent late. Deadline missed. Lots of extra work for me and payroll.

Whatev.

Now a leave request. Late.

Serious?

A second leave request. Past due.

People! Come fucking on. Do you think I give a rat's ass if you're paid? But when you have the nerve to disrupt my day with late submittals, I get testy. If I had my druthers, you'd get paid when I damn well got around to it since you couldn't be bothered to get around to it. What? Computer down? You couldn't pick up the phone?? Your problem is not mine.

Late leave requests? It just fucks things. We don't like that.

My left leg - bothering me.

My feet - jolts of surprised agony.

Bloat - yucko.

Zing Pizza tonight? Tasty.

Maybe life isn't bad. Maybe even good. Yeah, good, in fact.

S'ok. I'm ok.

Oh, and the snow this afternoon...so pretty, like a snow globe with gobs of big fluffy-coated, irregularly-shaped flakes. Gobs.